Cha-Ching (!) Chong Cena

Remember that era when pretty much all of the pro "wrasslers" acts out there were based on the fact that the he-man was always angry, violent and scary? Well, this supposed "tough guy" is the modern day personification of the pussyfication of the American male as far as I can tell. What has happened to these days to alleged current masculine offspring of the likes of legendary leading men like a brash and bold Charlton Heston or John Wayne? Just who in the hell are these new fangled AmeriKKKan macho men these days? Well, pretty much all of them are eventually "groomed" to become freshly scrubbed super heroes prototypes for the Mandarin Movie Market by the moola driven vampires that preside over the Hollywood studios. And therein lies the rub-a good rubbing will eventually turn red just like the Chinese flag but the most important color in the end as we all know is green in this story and most every other one in our day and age.

See, our offending suspect in question here is just another in a burgeoning class of "actors" who start out their "acting" careers "acting" like "apes" and "monkeying around" in the ring for the likes of the WWF, WWE and other Professional Wrestling touring carnivals where, as we all know, the fix is in but that is no problema for the unwashed masses that eat this mindless shit up. Thus, to sell the "act", the players need to develop some serious "fakir" chops in order to then parlay and further monetize said chops into a lucrative and certainly less painful "crossover" career as a Hollywood actor and these rings are the best places to practice their fresh, new craft for their future fortunes-typically in the moviehouse equivalent of the WWE-Superhero Movies-where the results are also pre-determined and the good guys always win as well. Hell, his first cinematic vehicle was produced by WWE Studios, The Marine, which was distributed theatrically by 20th Century Fox America in late 2006!

These are two forms of adult entertainment (aka-wrestling and super hero flicks) that I know next to nothing about and have zero interest in-much like gambling-since you pretty much already know what the outcome will be in each so that's kinda boring. The good guy (like Johnny Boy here) almost always wins in the ring whereas, the house (aka: the bad guy) almost always wins over time if you lay down enough bets. Sorry, no thanks-I'll stick with spanking the monkey instead if and when given a choice.

So naturally I had absolutely no idea who this guy was until he started randomly showing up as a character actor in various "rom-com-action" flicks over the past decade or so and then naturally was promoting them on late night comedy show circuit before he became HUGE-in the realm of public recognition (no word on his actual thespian skillz-as if that really matters to the power that be in LaLaLand). Just a clean cut, nice guy, muscle dude who helps old ladies cross the street and then is able to instantly pivot to bustin' heads and crackin' jokes over the course of a generally plotless 90 minutes of seat time. All good fun so far, right?

Not so fast. Now it's one thing to piss off a furry gang of 3rd Wave Feminists or the Southern Poverty League in AmeriKKKa. Alas, it is on a whole 'nother level when it is the Chinese Communist Party! In case you haven't heard already, you never want to piss them off or you may end up like this Huài nǚ hái.

Yes, the CCP likes criticism about as much as a Polack likes to read. Our "superhero" was on a WWE Promo tour last year and had the audacity to say that Taiwan was actually a country-you know, a true fact.

Taiwan is an island called the Republic of China (ROC) whereas the big ass mainland China who always strikes fear into our hearts and minds is called the People's Republic of China (PRC). Two different countries but still all Chinks but who do not see eye to eye politically at all. In short, the PRC doesn't even recognize the existence of the ROC. That is a whole other background story mostly related to political fallout after WWII but suffice it to say that the recent history is highly charged, complicated and contentious.

The Super Stud said "Taiwan will be the first "country" to watch Fast 9, the Fast and Furious franchise's latest sequel" back in the middle of 2021. That's it. Nothing to see here, right? Nope-such an egregious and extreme faux pas is utterly unacceptable if the offended party is the CCP-particularly these days.

The backlash was loco, with many even threatening to call off the film's screening in Taiwan. Taiwan, allowed to govern itself since 1949, has not been allowed official recognition on international platforms.

So the douche and his handlers decide to immediately capitulate before he gets lambasted like Daryl Morey, at the time the GM of the Houston Rockets, did when he dared to criticize the CCP about their long track record of not being very nice-particularly in Hong Kong just months before the Ching Chong virus was released and shared kindly with all of humanity.. 

Here is his apology - in actual Mandarin! I mean, shit, the dude was already pro-actively studying it a few years ago on his own!

Pretty pathetic seeing a big ass Macho Marine muscle man tough guy feebly kowtowing to all of the (mental) midgets running the CCP, no? Looks like a POW making a forced confession under duress just after he shit his pants. Hell, he even got mocked by ninety-eight pound limey British weakling talk show host and alleged comedian, HBO's John Oliver, on Last Week Tonight. Ouch.

But Cena is no dummy-at least when it comes to his finances v. his integrity. He put out that 1 minute mea culpa about a year ago and all is well again for him and his overlords running the Mandarin Movie Market-MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. He has returned to making millions of greenbacks churning out turgid LowComDom popcorn fare and they have returned to focusing on more important things like the completion of the Uyghur Genocide. So everyone and everything wins in this death cage macho pissing match! Well, everything except for Cena's sense of manliness. That has clearly been canceled forever and is never coming back. For that, he has officially "tapped out".

Baby Blackface

Remember when you were a kiddo doing all kinds of stupid and just plain “wrong” shit when you were out sowing your wild oats and whatnot long before everyone held a mini-instant camera in their paw? Ah, the good ol’ days. Ain’t so good now anymore, is it? As a latch key rapscallion of sorts in my teen years back in the 70s there was no end to our freedom to fuck around and fuck up. The problem now in the age of wokeism for our Furry Little Lord Fauntleroy here is that he committed his most unacceptable transgression (as in it turns out he decided it would be just jim-dandy to outfit his pretty, pretty face in blackface THREE official times though he could not RECALL how many times at first!) right around the time digital cameras were just becoming popular in the late 90s-bummer man.

The Froggy Fresh Prince of Canucklandia is our first politician on this virginal checklist yet already the SECOND Canadian just 5 weeks into our honorable checklist-Oh Canada, indeed! Naturally this is the sort of scandal that always happens when you are modern presidential royalty like the Bushes by proxy-in this case Canadian Royalty as his old man is infamous Pierre Trudeau who was their Prime Minister as well back in the wild 70s and early 80s for 16 years (!) and is said to have even dated Barbara Streisand in the days before those nasty cameras were everywhere. It is alleged that Justin’s pere committed a hell of a lot more questionable acts than this that of course have still gone unpunished over time due to a “lack of physical evidence”.

Regardless, it is clear that our modern metrosexual mofo was clearly overdoing it with the blackface. It would have been so much better (and accurate) if he gotten a different tint and gone in “brownface” if he wanted folks to really believe he was an A-rab or whatnot at that swell and posh party at that private school. 

Further, he might have been given a pass if these types of hi-jinx were happening when he was still in grade school or even college for example. BUT the last of the three occurred in 2001 when he was 29 years old, ready to turn 30! To quote his peer, Sleepy Joe, "Come on, man!". Really? And to claim that he didn’t know how many times he had done so in TOTAL (“like hey man, for sure once or twice, definitely, maybe 3 or more-heck maybe a dozen -but how can I really be sure, can you dig, brothers and sisters?”) is really friggin’ hilarious considering the last events in question happened WAY after his teenage years.

Hell, I was smart enough at 18 to realize doing such a potentially explosive thing should probably be put to a halt after the first time. Like that time during my freshman year at college when at the last minute in the dorm, my roommate and I decided to dress up as the Third Reich for the dorm Halloween party. Look, it was easy and we were lazy-we already had the black trench coats, gloves and combat boots as honorable Joy Division fans/comrades.

All we really needed was some cardboard and markers (provided by our hall’s Resident Advisor-danke!) for our disposable swastika armbands-piece of cake! Sure, we got some nasty looks throughout the soiree but I don’t recall any real fallout at the time or even later-all in good fun, right Justin? Well, after some soul searching the next day, we both decided to put that type of costume to sleep for good-and we weren't even out of our teens yet.

Naturally, he plays the White Privilege card, I mean excuse, when he says privileged upbringing is "a massive blind spot" "-so very woke, indeed. Well, then isn’t it certainly ironic that he has been completely successful in using that privilege and power to remain in power? After all, we all know that is how it works in the blurred world of politics and celebrity.

Heck, even this other Canadian legend like Don Cherry couldn’t knock him off of his bully pulpit when the following came to attention in 2016, just three years before the blackface brewhaha. Hell, Justin and I have something in common here-we both don Native American First Nations style tats that are based on Robert Davidson's designs. The irony here w/the Old Injun's take is that both Baby Blackface and I (I lived in the Pacific Northwest for over a decade and learned the craft of this style of woodcarving) do this out of respect for the art and the culture so he just doesn't get it but at his age I get it-it's cultural appropriate these days still as it seemingly has been for decades as opposed to the beauty of cross-cultural pollination, not "cultural love and respect". 

You know sometimes you can't win for losing-can I get an amen?t least this silly ol' change.org petition only got less than 2K e-signatures-clearly showing this type of wokeism is a complete dead end if not a full on carnival ride to hell.

So in the end when it comes to those who's modern day job is not really to just report on the news anymore but weigh in on it, well, since they are transparent about being opinion pieces, its compelling that the take coming from the Canuck dude writing for the Chicago Tribune is all about understanding and forgiveness (certainly not typical AmeriKKKan traits), it is the voice of all things Canadian at the Toronto Sun who naturally is not forgiving Justin and calling for his complete political cancellation.

Alas, come last September, the golden faced boy won his third term as Prime Minister-the man is "just" in the winner's circle even when he is so wrong as his minions "poo-poo" this trio of incidents quietly as I guess schoolboy transgressions of just "boys" being "boys".

In the end, we get the same old lesson-that is while it is certainly clear you can't cancel this boy as he only gets stronger as these election results show-he did recently get a campaign event last August canceled so I guess that's a start, right? It that had happened to Trump, it would have been the onset of Armageddon.